Thoughts Today

Well it has been a long time since I wrote of this thing last. I have never been a myspace or facebook guy so blogging is also new. Today I woke up and read all the blogs about Abigail. I feel when my life gets crazy and hard to control I turn to the Abigail blogs and realize how crazy my life is nt. I look at her pictures and read her medical folders and see that her life was crazy and somehow she overcame because that was what she knew. I think I am a strong person mentally but when I think about my baby Abigail she has me beat. I will never understand how she fought for so long and fooled all the doctors into letting her come home. I am 25 years old and look up to her for courage and strength at times. I know we are not perfect and never will be but she was. I will be deploying very soon and will need her courage and strength to keep my head on straight. I find myself throughout the day telling Abigail thanks weather it is me almost falling off my truck or just making it through another day. Jennifer is pregnant with another baby a boy this time and I will miss the birth wish sucks but I know I have my Abigail wherever I am. I will need my baby girl more than ever coming up and know we will get though things together. One of the hardest things besides leaving my family for a year will be Abigail's blanket. I will explain since the day Abigail went to heaven Jennifer and I have slept every night with our Abigail blankets as we call them. I don’t care if we are 20 something years old sleeping with a baby blanket it makes us happy. I am going to be without my Abigail blanket and that is the part that I am nervous about not the possibility of getting shot at or blown up. I know Jennifer will take care of the blanket for me and that helps a little. I am going to take one of the prayer cards from Abigail’s service with me and my grandmas rosary with my. This rosary I was given to me after my grandma passed away and it has went with me to Boot Camp and on my last year deployment. So I think I will be looked after quite well when I am gone. I know this is all scattered thoughts and that’s all this is thoughts I am having right now. I love my family with all my heart and know they will be praying for me when I am gone. We all have Abigail a baby that was perfect in Gods and my eyes to look over us. She reminded us when times are tough and life has you down look at her courage and strength to get us through. I love you all and will miss you so much. See you when I get back
Buddy