Thursday, October 1, 2009
Lost but never forgotten
Oh what a scare, early last week Brian got a call from a gentleman on his flight asking me if I could go down to the hospital for a baby boy had just passed away and the mom had asked if i would come. Now there was no thinking involved I knew I was need and mine and Brian's feelings would have to wait so I went to the hospital and helped the best I could. Brian got out of his class early so he could lend a helping hand to this mom in need. But that night me and Brian sat down and our emotions from the day just came out. I had kind of a chip on my shoulder cause the whole day i had to hide my emotions but to be completely honest I wanted to just crawl in my bed and cry the whole day away. Hearing that another baby had died just brought me right back to that night my baby girl pasted, this might not be the best way to deal with it but I block that night I think of other nights were she would lie on my chest and sleep or her big pretty baby eye looking at me as i feed her, but that morning that one horrid night came back and stuck with me the whole day. It has been about a week and though I have since been able to block that night out again I am still reminded that I had a great baby girl and she was taken from me and though I trust God and his plan it is still really hard. My lat post was of my new baby news and how excited we are but for a little bit I couldn't help but be sad that I will never hold my Abigail again and I felt for all the mom's that had lost their babies. But like I said I have since put up a new block and only think of the happy times and remember that Abigail gave me a new blessing and hope in the future that other mom's will be bless by their lost ones with a new joy.
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I prefer to think of her sweetness too - she is such a huge part of our lives and I am so glad she always will be! Abigail was so blessed to have such a wonderful mommy like you! The new baby is pretty darn blessed too - a great mommy and daddy and a guardian angel big sister!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog, I think you must be right about the name Abigail Marie. What a sweet little girl! I can't imagine losing a baby, but your strength is an inspiration. How exciting it will be to see her one day in heaven, healthy and happy! I'll be praying for a healthy pregnancy for you and your baby. Take care!
ReplyDeleteThat was very touching and I miss her to. But you 2 are
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